It’s been nearly a year since singer Whitney Houston’s tragic death from accidental drowning and cocaine ingestion. Now, her mom, Cissy Houston, is speaking out for the first time in her new memoir, Remembering Whitney: My Story of Love, Loss and The Night The Music Stopped.

Whitney Houston’s mom recently sat down with People magazine to preview the memoir and discuss guilt over her daughter’s battle with drugs.

“I still wonder if I could have saved her somehow. But there’s no book written on how to be a parent. You do the best you can,” said Houston.

A gospel star in her own right, Cissy Houston famously nurtured Whitney (affectionately called “Nippy” by family) and her golden voice from the church choir to superstardom. However, once Whitney began dabbling in drugs, she started avoiding her mother. “Whitney hid from me,” says Houston, which made her afraid to confront her daughter for fear of losing her completely.

One person Houston does not blame for Whitney’s drug problem is her daughter’s ex-husband, Bobby Brown. “I blame him for the way he treated her,” she says, “but I don’t blame him for her drug problems.” Yet, Houston admits Brown’s own battles with drugs and alcohol were “no help to her at all.”

Houston also told People it has taken her nearly a year of grieving to be emotionally ready to speak about the tragedy. “Since my daughter died, I’ve struggled with so many things,” she said.

Read more: PopularCritic

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