In an effort to be an ardent supporter of your long-term partner, it can be easy to lose your identity in the process, which is something Jada Pinkett Smith experienced and shared with Tiny Harris.
Tiny and her husband T.I. sat down on Pinkett Smith’s “Red Table Talk” series last month, and the second part was released on Monday, December 2.
Related: Breaking Down T.I. and Tiny’s Blended Family
T.I. and his wife stopped by the series to address the backlash over the comments he made about checking his daughter’s hymen to ensure she’s still a virgin.
The rapper and singer also talked about the struggles they faced since being married in 2010. In 2016 and again inn 2017 Tiny filed for divorce from Tip, but they would reconcile each time.
“I went and found my own voice,” said Tiny, speaking about enduring time away from her husband as he served 11 months in prison in 2010. “He was used to saying ‘OK, no, we’re doing this, we’re moving this way, and I be like OK.'”
But when the Xscape member started speaking up for herself, she said T.I. had a problem with it.
“It wasn’t what he was used to,” she explained. “He was used to controlling things, having things his way at all times.”
The Grand Hustle boss then said that Tiny agreed that he would make most of the decisions but later changed her mind, which he resented.
That’s when Pinkett Smith’s mother and “Red Table Talk” co-host Adrienne Banfield-Jones said it’s normal for someone to agree to something then change their mind.
“Sometimes you agree to something, then you realize it doesn’t really work for you,” she explained. “Sometimes you have to experience something that you think you want to do because you want to be in agreement.”
Pinkett Smith then said she fully related to Tip and Tiny’s problem because she experienced it herself with Will.
“This conversation, this problem, is the exact same thing Will and I had to work through,” the actress explained.
Then her mother said, “She felt like she lost herself in supporting Will and his dreams and his career, and the idea that he had of what their relationship was gonna be.”
Pinkett Smith continued on from there and spoke more about the challenges she and Will faced.
“We do relinquish a lot of our power to our men that we’ve given our lives to,” she said. “And at first, I gave it all over. And then I realized, ‘Oh, this is not working.’ And you get just a little disappointed because you feel like, ‘I gave it all to you and you took it and you misused it, you stopped listening to me.’”
The “Girl’s Trip” actor then said she later realized it was her choice to relinquish control, and Will didn’t deserve all of the blame.
“He did the best he could,” said Pinkett Smith. “And honor the fact that he wanted to, honor the fact that he tried. But it takes a minute to get there, though. “