If you haven’t figured it out by now, Jada Pinkett Smith is fancy with the words. Will Smith’s wife of nearly 16 years has been battling not only persistent divorce rumors but speculation about just what kind of relationship she has with her husband. From the crazy, does Will have gay lovers, do they swing or most recent do they have an open relationship. Wait, clarification – can Will do whatever HE wants in the marriage. Jada opened up about the public’s undying curiosity over her marriage a few weeks ago while sitting down with Huff Post Lamont Hill. Her initial quote read:
“I’ve always told Will, ‘You can do whatever you want as long as you can look at yourself in the mirror and be okay. Because at the end of the day, Will is his own man. I’m here as his partner, but he is his own man. He has to decide who he wants to be and that’s not for me to do for him. Or vice versa.”
It’s not hard to understand how readers runaway with the idea that Jada all but confirmed she’s OK with Will having relations outside of their marriage. Of course, what was overlooked was her last line, “vice versa”. Many readers assumed Jada did not allow herself the same freedom. Several Twitter conversations and blog posts later, Jada is addressing the critics and clarifying her statement. Here’s her full statement taken from her Facebook post:
Let me first say this, there are far more important things to talk about in regards to what is happening in the world than whether I have an open marriage or not. I am addressing this issue because a very important subject has been born from discussions about my statement that may be worthy of addressing.
The statement I made in regard to, “Will can do whatever he wants,” has illuminated the need to discuss the relationship between trust and love and how they co-exist.
Do we believe loving someone means owning them? Do we believe that ownership is the reason someone should “behave”? Do we believe that all the expectations, conditions, and underlying threats of “you better act right or else” keep one honest and true? Do we believe that we can have meaningful relationships with people who have not defined nor live by the integrity of his or her higher self? What of unconditional love? Or does love look like, feel like, and operate as enslavement? Do we believe that the more control we put on someone the safer we are? What of TRUST and LOVE?
Should we be married to individuals who can not be responsible for themselves and their families within their freedom? Should we be in relationships with individuals who we can not entrust to their own values, integrity, and LOVE…for us???
Here is how I will change my statement…Will and I BOTH can do WHATEVER we want, because we TRUST each other to do so. This does NOT mean we have an open relationship…this means we have a GROWN one.
Will this be the end of the debate surrounding Jada Pinkett and Will Smith’s choices within their marriage? Not likely…but it has indeed starting a very interesting conversation!